Speaking Up: Responding to Offensive Costumes with Care and Courage

By Sam Garrison, Director of Prevention, YWCA Clark County

Halloween can be a time for fun, creativity and community. But it can also be a time when costumes cross the line mocking identities, cultures or professions in ways that can cause real harm.

When you see something offensive, it can be hard to know what to do. Should you speak up? Walk away?

YWCA Clark County’s Director of Prevention, Sam Garrison, shares how to respond with awareness, safety and compassion to ensure the season is fun for all!

Start with a pause

Before you act, pause and reflect. Notice how you’re feeling physically and emotionally. Do you feel tense, anxious or warm? Are you in a space where you feel safe speaking up?

When we encounter something oppressive, our bodies often react before our brains do. Taking a breath helps you ground yourself and regain control. This self-awareness isn’t just important, it’s essential. It ensures your response comes from a place of calm and care, not reactivity.

Assess the situation and appropriate response

Once you’ve centered yourself, take a moment to look at the bigger picture. What are your options for responding and what feels safe for you?

If you know the person, you may be able to have a direct, compassionate conversation. In this situation, focus on the harm of the costume, not the person. For example:

“That costume feels offensive. It has a real impact on people.”

Talking about the behavior rather than the individual helps open dialogue instead of shutting it down.

If you don’t know the person, assess whether it feels safe to speak up. Sometimes, you can connect through a mutual acquaintance or talk to an event organizer or manager who can address the issue. If that’s not possible, or you’re in a public space with strangers, it’s OK not to engage.

Your physical and emotional safety always come first. You don’t need to risk harm to stop oppression, especially if you’re part of a marginalized community. Even small actions, like sharing your discomfort with friends or a host, can create awareness and help shift the environment.

Reflect

Sometimes, you may wish you had said something, but didn’t. That’s OK. Guilt can be a teacher. Reflect on what happened and think about how you might respond next time. Let it motivate, not discourage you.

More importantly, before putting on a costume, take a moment to reflect on what you’re wearing and the message it sends. A little awareness before the festivities can help prevent harm before it begins. As you put on an outfit, ask yourself a few key questions:

• Is my costume an identity someone else can’t take off?

  If it represents a culture, religion or community, it’s not a costume, it’s an identity. Wearing it for fun can be disrespectful.

• Am I appreciating or appropriating?

  Appreciation happens when you participate in a cultural tradition or practice with the intention to celebrate that culture and typically includes that cultural group. Appropriation happens when you use a culture for your own intentions, outside its context or meaning.

• Is this costume bringing people joy or causing harm?

  Scary movie villains or mythical creatures can make Halloween fun. But costumes that mirror real-life harm, people, professions or groups that have caused fear or trauma, can turn that fun into pain for others.

Dressing up should be a fun activity that creates joy for all. Together, we can make this Halloween, and every day, a little safer, kinder and more inclusive for everyone.

Want to Learn More?

At YWCA Clark County, our prevention programs help youth and adults understand how power, privilege and oppression show up in everyday life, and how we can interrupt them safely and effectively. To learn more about our programs, visit our What We Do page. For more information on interrupting oppression, check out the Oregon Coalition Against Domestic Violence’s toolkit.